Trudging up the mountain, I am all alone.
Days of the lowland marshes are long gone.
Playdays in the lowest valleys, where the sun shone bright,
Are now as distant as the valleys-almost out of sight,
And trudging up the mountain, I trip over a boulder, shrouded by ice,
I am no longer the speedy go-getter, getting up in a trice;
But I do stand up, though gone is warmth, and lost is poise.
I stand up, nevertheless-amid my mind’s silent noise,
With snow-sunk boots and a heavy cape that I’m wearing less; hauling more,
I search for the next piece of walkable track, tapping on it, to be sure,
Nothing is easy, everything is covert,
From the mountains to the animals to my own heavy heart,
Must I blame myself for yearning to reach the mountain peak?
Is it my abandoning friends or my stubborn self that is weak?
Are they to be blamed for breaking the promises of conquering summits together?
Or is it the fault of the menacing rocks, the threatening wind, the merciless weather?
Trudging up the mountain, I am nearly hopeless; tired, and alone.
My body numbs and like the mountain, it seems to turn to stone.
But from a stubborn hope, a surprisingly unbreakable dream, I keep going.
Falling, stumbling, crying, rising, lying, walking, dragging myself…..but going.
I keep going on and on until
I reach the mountain-top and see them-my old friends, probably playing, safe and sound,
As specks of black and brown, spotting the smooth, unchallenging, lower ground,
I wish they were here too, that we could tell tales of our mountain-conquering journey,
That the “my” and “I” in my tale could be “ours” and “we”,
But I am here, all alone–alone to touch the clouds, and feel the Sun’s rays blossom over my head,
Alone to taste the nectar of self-fulfilment, to embrace the once-faraway snow-bed,
I am here, all alone, to take pride in my bruises and scars,
I am here to befriend the shining moon, the twinkling stars,
And after trudging up the mountain, after numerous introspective fights,
I have finally made it to the top, to sing with the Northern lights.